Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Shoes to Fill

Those of you who know me, or have passed me on the street, know that we're anticipating a little arrival this winter - one that will change our family and our lives in ways that we can't even imagine yet. We are trying to prepare in the only ways we know how: painting this little one's future room; stockpiling and reorganizing baby supplies, and talking to Audrey about what it means to be a sibling (and, of course, I've brought out the knitting needles).

But having become a mother once, I now know that what we need to prepare for most is to be surprised. The physical changes hit first: feeling the weight of a baby in my arms as opposed to kicking me from the inside; the unexpected back pain when I changed from an upright well-postured adult to one incessantly bending over a child; the zombie-like days of sleep deprivation (and the wonder and relief of catching second winds that kept us coping) that I believed would happen (I had heard the horror stories) - but hey, there's reading about Rome and there's actually being in Rome.

But it's the non-physical changes, the ones that have shown themselves gradually, that have stuck with me and altered me the most. We were only a few months into parenthood when I began to feel as if Audrey had always been a part of our family. Dynamic things come wrapped in very small bundles, and this vibrant one was going to leave a mark. And she has. I could not have imagined the courage, strength, and full-blown love (not to mention comedic relief) that comes in a three-foot blond with dirt under her nails and hummus slathered in her hair. But here she is, surprising me daily.

So I busy myself, making tiny shoes that will be too big for this new baby, and wondering just who this little one will grow to be. I don't know how he will change us, enrich us, or teach us. The only thing I know for certain is: he will.

~ The shoes were made using Lion Brand Fisherman's Wool in Nature's Brown. I used the Beginner Booties pattern in Melanie Falick and Kristin Nicholas' Knitting for Baby (A new book! What?! I know friends, it's a new day).

1 comment:

  1. "He will" Are you trying to tell us you are having a little man?